I should have known what I was getting into when I started dating Holly. I mean, any girl who will get close to literally kicking a customer out the front door has to have an issue or two, right?
A few weeks after we had first gone out, I picked her up on a Friday from work. After we had chatted for a little while and agreed that Wafflehouse two nights in a row wasn’t healthy, we made our way to Café Yoko’s.
She accepted it with a gracious nod. “Thanks. How much was it.”
I seated myself across from her and put my beer on the table. “Don’t worry about it.”
She regarded me with just a hint of irritation. “I can pay for my own coffee, you know.”
I rolled my eyes. We had done this dance every time we came here. “Then buy the next round. It’s not a big deal.”
“Fine. I will,” she told me. I shrugged and took a drink from my pint glass. If she wanted to pay the price of a beer for a cup of coffee, that was her business. “So,” she said after she had ruined a perfectly good cup of coffee with cream and sugar. “What’s the real reason you wear sunglasses all the time?”
I raised an eyebrow at her, though I doubt she could see it. “I told you, I broke my normal pair and this is all I have left in my prescription.”
“Sure they are,” she agreed, letting me feel her sarcasm. Then she gave me a small smile. “Please. We’ve known each other for over a month now, and I’ve yet to see you without those sunglasses. You’re not going to tell me your optometrist still has them back ordered, are you?”
“Well, glasses are expensive. And I’m not exactly working with much income right now. You have seen my car, right?”
She gave me a skeptical look. “I don’t buy that one either.” When I didn’t say anything, she scowled, irritated. “C’mon! What could possibly drive you to wear your sunglasses everywhere you go?”
I gave her a cryptic smile. “Privileged information.”
Her mouth twisted a little. “Fine. Be that way.” Then she leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “But I warn you, I’ll find out soon enough.”
I took a quick drink before answering. “I’m sure you will.”
“I will. Just you wait.” She went silent, staring at me thoughtfully, unconsciously tracing patterns in the water from her glass. “It’s not some stupid macho thing like you think it’ll help you in a fight, is it?”
“No…” I answered, frowning at her. “Where’d you get that idea?”
She flushed a little. “Nowhere. Just… My ex-boyfriend always wore sunglasses all the time, too. He said he wore them so that if he got in a fight, they couldn’t see his eyes.”
“Sunglasses, huh.” I considered it briefly, then glanced at her over my beer. “Sounds like a jack-ass.”
“He was,” she agreed readily.
I gave a dry laugh. “Really? Is that why you broke up with him?”
She shook her head. “No.” She paused. “Actually, he broke up with me… It was a messy break-up and I took it pretty hard. I spent most of the year afterwards in near-depression.” She gave a bitter laugh. “I got over it, though.”
“So if he was a jack-ass, why were you so hung up on him?”
Her eyes snapped back up to mine and she glared. “It took me a year to figure out he was a jack-ass, okay?”
“All right, all right,” I said.
“Sorry… I doubt you really wanted to hear about my past loves, did you.”
So are you here for me? Or the sunglasses? “No, no, it’s fine. I mean, that wouldn’t have been my choice in conversation, but that’s no problem.”
She laughed. A rich, playful laugh. “Then what do you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know, something more current? You have any boyfriends?”
“Nope,” she answered. I had figured as much, but I wanted to be certain. “What about you?” she countered. “Any girls you’re seeing?”
“Nah. Haven’t really dated anyone since college.”
“And why would that be?” she teased. “Can’t find the right girl?”
“More like I can’t find the time.”
“Oh come on! If you wanted it badly enough, you could find it.” She gave me a smug grin. “Or maybe you just haven’t found a girl yet who was worthy of a precious hour of your time.”
“Maybe,” I said, then took a drink to give me an excuse not to say anything else.
“Anyway, what do you want to do after…” She trailed off and her eyes narrowed at something over my shoulder. “Him!”
“Who?” I asked, turning around. Her ex, maybe?
“Hold on.” She got up, not even noticing I had said anything. “I’ll be right back.” As I watched, she marched purposely up to a lone man in a suit ordering a drink at the counter. I couldn’t tell if it was her ex or not. He wasn’t wearing sunglasses, but maybe he was just another boyfriend she had yet to tell me about. Whoever he was, he had met Holly before, because when he saw her striding so purposely towards him, the look on his face went from confusion to recognition to out-right fear. He took a few step backwards, tripped over someone’s feet, and then fell flat on his ass, knocking several drinks out of people’s hands and all over his suit. The only thing he could do was look up and blink as Holly stood over him.
Without a word, she reached over, grabbed his beer from the top of the counter, then promptly dumped it over his head. It was mostly a pointless action since her ex, or whoever he was, was already more or less soaked. She clanked the glass back down, then turned and marched back to her seat across from me, an utterly satisfied smile on her face.
I looked at her, looked at the guy, then looked back to her, considering. “Remind me never to piss you off… Was that him?”
My words brought her back from whatever ecstasy she had found from completely humiliating the guy. “Huh? Who?”
“Your ex-boyfriend?”
She burst out laughing. “No, no…. He came by for ice-cream this afternoon and was a total ass-hole.”
I just looked at her, shocked for a second, and started laughing myself. “Wait… wait a minute! You mean all he did was piss you off at Baskin Robbin’s?”
She straightened up a bit. “He went off on one of our 15 year olds,” she answered primly. “The poor boy was pale for the whole shift afterwards. And that jerk’s only reason was that he didn’t think he had gotten enough ice cream. What?”
“Nothing, nothing.” I answered, lifting my sun-glasses up just enough to wipe my eyes. “It’s just… Well, like I said. Remind me never to piss you off.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Am I supposed to take that as an insult or a compliment?”
“However you want to,” I answered, then glanced over at the mess around the counter. “But we might want to consider leaving pretty quick.”
She followed my eyes, then let out a laugh. “Yeah, I suppose so. Did you want to take me home.”
I finished my beer and then grinned at her. “Actually, I was wondering if you might want to go home with me.”
She looked slightly taken aback. “And finally meet this infamous room-mate of yours?”
I shrugged. “Well, you’ll have to eventually, I imagine.”
“True,” she agreed, blushing a little.
“Anyways…” I indicated the staff, who were mopping up the mess at the counter and glaring at us, “we should probably get going. Now.”
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